I realize that what interests and motivates me most in life [poetry, meditating on historic, cultural, archaeological and religious anomalies and legends] is useless, ponderously dull to most people, and, thank God, difficult to commercialize and commodify. (Still, I’m sure some marketing genius out there could do it – the type who can sell spirituality and used mantras to the public.)
Really – I think I am a freak – or just a product of my upbringing and a Liberal Arts education. I never planned on becoming a poetic esthetic dreamer. Somehow it just happened.
I couldn’t care less about sports [even though I used to play little league and soccer etc]. I never follow the Superbowl. Why should I – since pro basketball bores me… same with the World Series, even though it used to move me almost to tears in 4th grade –
especially when the Bruins won it.
I couldn’t care less at this point who the latest disco-diva or film star is . Couldn’t name 3 of them to save my life – and I like it that way. Wait – maybe I can; Madonna Summer – she’s disco, right? People (usually younger people) mention some TV show or some clothing brand or music group and get a blank stare from me. Sometimes I nod and say “yeah, uh-huh”, feigning cognizance, but inwardly I am primal screaming. Talk to me about film and I will mention Black Orpheus or Soy Cuba or …well I did go to see Book of Eli at a theater, true – that was the first time in a cineplex theater in about 5 years. I liked Book of Eli – did you? I guess I need to just accept the fact that I am a total misfit esthete. I can’t evade my destiny. I am about as interested in the stuff most people love as they are in reading my favorite poetry or some 17th century theology – or coming to church with me on Sunday. How did I get this way? Am I conceited? Am I venting or appraising myself realistically here? No idea. Are there others like me out there? Is it good or bad that I am like this? What makes it strange is how important all of this trivial (to me) stuff is to others in my nation. It fills sports bars and malls, employs many at People magazine, makes the wheels of U.S. consumer commerce spin – I know, I know. I should care. But I don’t.
So if 5 other people look at this blog and realize that someone else likes the same poetry as they do – or if someone encounters a poem for the first time and likes it, I have succeeded beyond my wildest dreams.