Textually Transmitted Diseases

Be careful all you free-versin’  poetic hook-up artists and practitioners of unprotected textual intercourse.  There are pernicious poetic maladies out there online. Casual cruising of sleazy sites might infect your soul with bad verse.  The wages of sin is death – but I would spare you AND your muse any viral  regrets.

Random coupling with unstructured lines you just picked up at some postmodern blog is NOT a  healthy lifestyle  in the long run. Go ahead – call me a Victorian prude.  Make fun of meter and rhyme schemes. Hoot at message-oriented versification. Throw your inchoate drivel in my face… but when you come down with a compromised semantic system or an embarrassing case of nihilistic verborrhea, don’t come crying to me.

Case of chlamydia in point:  San Francisco  Shampoo.

A sample from the cutting-edge Left Coast cyber-poetry collective:

Running away from home is slower (A. Rich)

in passing
in passing through aside
astride the question of locomotor by heels

by tooth or by nail true grit
toll all told pulled
like taffy pinkest sweetwater a tongue
stretches and pales doubled back
on itself Finally
Francis will sit
under the kitchen sink and make
mock phone calls to her mother’s house
as she rat-a-tat does what she likes
and likes to be lonely What is it
you do there all by yourself
Please never release me tent poles
through the teat hank of
round the doorknob
If he turns me into
a tree I will still
though rooted move
inside.  The earth all
water
I
move.

[Author: N. Fader]

Or how about some  “found” art, as in decentralized poetic collage.
The reader can supply the random associations:


found: dictionary page headings

A-bomb  *  abracadabra
action  *  Afrikaner
afterglow  *  Agent Orange
amorous  *  ampicillin
anchorperson  *  android
animal husbandry  *  anniversary
anthropologist  *  Antichrist
Arkansas  *  armpit
assault rifle  *  assisted suicide
baby-sit  *  backhand
backwoods  *  bad hair day
ballistic missile  *  banana republic
Bible Belt  *  Big Bang
bimbo  *  bioavailability
boat hook  *  body piercing
boss  *  bottom feeder
buffet  *  bulimia
buxom  *  BYOB
captive audience  *  car bomb
C-clamp  *  celibacy
celibate  *  cementation
cloud nine  *  cluster bomb
come-hither  *  command-driven
commuter tax  *  compassion fatigue
confusion  *  Congress
creationist  *  credulous
crowd control  *  cruise missile…

 [Author: P. Lee]     (NB -it goes on & on up to “zipper”)

Nothing against these “poets” personally.  I picked them at random as  examples.  I feel that their poetry is a symptom  rather than a valid art form – more to be pitied than scorned.    That’s what I get for cruising avant-vapid  poetry blogs.  I did it so YOU won’t have to, dear reader.

But if you want  substance – go read some Mother Goose, buy a Hallmark card…or grab a hymnbook for Christ’s sake!

[Yes … do ALL for Christ’s sake.]

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