Thankless Limericks

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Career politicians, who cluck
as they strut with an impotent pluck
make me sick with the season
befouling all reason:
they’re less of a cock than a cuck.

 

That gobbler and turkey-neck Mitch
makes me furious—so mad that I twitch.
He obstructs all our battles
and jiggles his wattles;
unpardoned, unworthy (but rich).

 

The patrician political class
is a party that speaks through its ass.
They are lacking in guts
with no ifs, ands, or buts
but I swear: they produce enough gas.

 

 

 

 

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The Mother of all Mummies

Of the myriad films about mummies
that send chills to the pit of our tummies,
the original’s best.
You can keep all the rest;
their appeal is to modern-day dummies.


The original 1932 film is less a horror story
and more a psychic thriller about reincarnation and eternal love.
I get very wrapped up in this stuff:

The burden of Egypt.
Behold, the Lord rideth upon a swift cloud, and shall come into Egypt:
and the idols of Egypt shall be moved at his presence,
and the heart of Egypt shall melt in the midst of it.

And I will set the Egyptians against the Egyptians:
and they shall fight every one against his brother,
and every one against his neighbour;
city against city, and kingdom against kingdom.

And the spirit of Egypt shall fail in the midst thereof;
and I will destroy the counsel thereof:
and they shall seek to the idols, and to the charmers,
and to them that have familiar spirits, and to the wizards.

And the Egyptians will I give over into the hand of a cruel lord;
and a fierce king shall rule over them, saith the Lord, the Lord of hosts.

Isaiah 19:1-4

 

Surely the princes of Zoan are fools,
the counsel of the wise counsellors of Pharaoh is become brutish:
how say ye unto Pharaoh, I am the son of the wise,
the son of ancient kings?

Isaiah 19:11

 

Trumped-Up Limericks

 

The new ruse: presidential psychosis
an impartial and swift diagnosis
as you trump-up the charge
but the sign is writ large:
twenty-twenty TRUMP/PENCE the prognosis.

 

Corrupt psychiatric inspection
serves to further a facile detection:
presidential unfitness.
(But God is our witness;
you’re mad ’cause you lost the election.)

 

As you slander the president’s sanity
you exhibit your own inhumanity.
I would urge all you losers
and lying accusers
to listen to Savage and Hannity.

 

In your desperate drive to impeach
you would grasp what is out of your reach.
The infernal machine
steered by crazy Maxine
makes a nasty mechanical screech.

 

The Democrat narrative flounders
while our nation’s own hateful confounders
promote red revolution
mob-rule as solution
insulting the faith of the Founders.

 

Though the state-sponsored media lie,
our beleaguered republic must try
to transcend inhumanity;
quell the insanity.
Both wings are needed to fly.